more details to come! :)
xoxo
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
Friday, August 3, 2012
Sometimes the Best Times Can be the Worst Times
if there's 1 thing i've learned about in life, it's this: even if things are going well overall, you'll still have a lot of hard-hitting moments. that's what has been going on for the last while with me -- i'll admit, i was pretty naive into thinking that all the negative feelings inside would magically POOF disappear. but of course, that hasn't been the case, & so when i lay down at night to sleep--waiting for the sleep meds to kick in--all the usual, awfully annoying thoughts hit me across the face:
"you're 22 & a half years old, & you STILL haven't gotten rid of your acne."
"you're fat."
"you're so stupid that you can't stay on top of your meds."
"you'll never have motivation to find another job."
"you're neglecting your family & very best friends because of your own selfishness."
"you're bugging your boyfriend; maybe he doesn't even like you anymore."
"spiritual-wise, you are a failure."
"why don't you just give up already?"
...yeesh.
sadly, sometimes i think these things multiple times a day. it gets alittle lot exhausting.
now i'm not writing this post to make people feel sorry for/worry about me &/or want to punch me in the face (puh-LEEZE). because i've finally figured why & where all these nasty bits are coming from...the ultimate downer, Satan. der, can't believe it took me so long! of COURSE dude wants me to be miserable & everything like unto it. well, my response to that comes from Meg Ryan in French Kiss, though omitting the "All men are" part: Satan's a BASS TURD. (sorry Mam, but you know it's true too!)
so, as the last few weeks have passed & i've started to get out of my Poor-Me slump (although i will always find ways to gain sympathy...i'm a terrible person, heehee!), the positive juices have started to flow again, & i've begun to target the problem areas.
"you're 22 & a half years old, & you STILL haven't gotten rid of your acne." BIRTH CONTROL'S FAULT. (yes world, i said it...i'm on birth control. but then so is every other single Mormon girl...or any girl, for that matter. it's for regulation, if you get my drift.) or it's just genetics. either way, i can still control it mostly with acne washes & such.
"you're fat." ahhhhhh, yessssssss, that's riiiiiight...but you know, i'd rather have some curves than look like a 14 year old prepubescent boy. just sayin'.
"you're so stupid that you can't stay on top of your meds." well okay, this one really is my fault...but i'm getting better! sometimes i miss a day of some pills, but not my most important ones! (not a good excuse...)
"you'll never have motivation to find another job." again, my bad. but i'm starting to go out & look/apply to some jobs, such as book stores, bakeries/candy shops & maybe hotels.
"you're neglecting your family & very best friends because of your own selfishness." excuse me but i call that selfishness "Me Time." plus overall the peeps have all been pretty understanding. i mean, i still have moments where i clash with the parents about my time spent with them, but mostly i've appreciated their leniency in letting me have quality time with the boyfriend.
"you're bugging your boyfriend; maybe he doesn't even like you anymore." WRONG, WRONG, WRONG. my boyfriend, Devon, has been nothing but the best man in my life. we've been going strong for 4 months now (gee, 4 whole months, right? but trust me, it's a LONG TIME in my book...curse you, Utah Mormon Culture!), & they have been filled with endless fun, laughs & love. he even plans on marrying me. :) so it's safe to say that he still likes me...a lot.
"spiritual-wise, you are a failure." definitely the biggest issue in my life the last few months. i've felt like a big letdown to God, & even purposely rebelled against some things, but i keep getting a humble-check & realizing that life will still be hard if i don't grow up & get back on track. so i've been praying more, reading the Book of Mormon again, going to all 3 hours of church (don't judge me) & just tried to keep the Spirit with me at all times. & you know what? i'm beginning to feel a lot better!
"why don't you just give up already?" BECAUSE I'M NOT GOING TO. pffft.
so anyway, obviously there's still conflict going on inside of me, but then, doesn't that happen with everyone? my point is, if you try your best to do the right thing, stick to your goals & love/help others, God will always be with you & guide you along. He always will, but whether we feel that or not depends on our actions. & i can already tell, the more "fed" i get & happier i become, the more Mr. Bass Turd will try to get to me.
bring it on.
xoxo
"you're 22 & a half years old, & you STILL haven't gotten rid of your acne."
"you're fat."
"you're so stupid that you can't stay on top of your meds."
"you'll never have motivation to find another job."
"you're neglecting your family & very best friends because of your own selfishness."
"you're bugging your boyfriend; maybe he doesn't even like you anymore."
"spiritual-wise, you are a failure."
"why don't you just give up already?"
...yeesh.
sadly, sometimes i think these things multiple times a day. it gets a
now i'm not writing this post to make people feel sorry for/worry about me &/or want to punch me in the face (puh-LEEZE). because i've finally figured why & where all these nasty bits are coming from...the ultimate downer, Satan. der, can't believe it took me so long! of COURSE dude wants me to be miserable & everything like unto it. well, my response to that comes from Meg Ryan in French Kiss, though omitting the "All men are" part: Satan's a BASS TURD. (sorry Mam, but you know it's true too!)
so, as the last few weeks have passed & i've started to get out of my Poor-Me slump (although i will always find ways to gain sympathy...i'm a terrible person, heehee!), the positive juices have started to flow again, & i've begun to target the problem areas.
"you're 22 & a half years old, & you STILL haven't gotten rid of your acne." BIRTH CONTROL'S FAULT. (yes world, i said it...i'm on birth control. but then so is every other single Mormon girl...or any girl, for that matter. it's for regulation, if you get my drift.) or it's just genetics. either way, i can still control it mostly with acne washes & such.
"you're fat." ahhhhhh, yessssssss, that's riiiiiight...but you know, i'd rather have some curves than look like a 14 year old prepubescent boy. just sayin'.
"you're so stupid that you can't stay on top of your meds." well okay, this one really is my fault...but i'm getting better! sometimes i miss a day of some pills, but not my most important ones! (not a good excuse...)
"you'll never have motivation to find another job." again, my bad. but i'm starting to go out & look/apply to some jobs, such as book stores, bakeries/candy shops & maybe hotels.
"you're neglecting your family & very best friends because of your own selfishness." excuse me but i call that selfishness "Me Time." plus overall the peeps have all been pretty understanding. i mean, i still have moments where i clash with the parents about my time spent with them, but mostly i've appreciated their leniency in letting me have quality time with the boyfriend.
"you're bugging your boyfriend; maybe he doesn't even like you anymore." WRONG, WRONG, WRONG. my boyfriend, Devon, has been nothing but the best man in my life. we've been going strong for 4 months now (gee, 4 whole months, right? but trust me, it's a LONG TIME in my book...curse you, Utah Mormon Culture!), & they have been filled with endless fun, laughs & love. he even plans on marrying me. :) so it's safe to say that he still likes me...a lot.
"spiritual-wise, you are a failure." definitely the biggest issue in my life the last few months. i've felt like a big letdown to God, & even purposely rebelled against some things, but i keep getting a humble-check & realizing that life will still be hard if i don't grow up & get back on track. so i've been praying more, reading the Book of Mormon again, going to all 3 hours of church (don't judge me) & just tried to keep the Spirit with me at all times. & you know what? i'm beginning to feel a lot better!
"why don't you just give up already?" BECAUSE I'M NOT GOING TO. pffft.
so anyway, obviously there's still conflict going on inside of me, but then, doesn't that happen with everyone? my point is, if you try your best to do the right thing, stick to your goals & love/help others, God will always be with you & guide you along. He always will, but whether we feel that or not depends on our actions. & i can already tell, the more "fed" i get & happier i become, the more Mr. Bass Turd will try to get to me.
bring it on.
xoxo
Thursday, May 3, 2012
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
Loved
i hate to be considered a little too completely dependent on other persons to make me happy, but...well, it's just who i am. & here are some faces that make me especially happy. :)
i'm a lucky girl!
xoxo
the best parents & our newest niece, Sky.
Aaron, my bro, & his family.
my broskee, Nate, & his fam.
my sissy, Linzy, & her hubby, Micah.
my child.
the bestestbestBFFfriendforever anyone could ask for, & her adorable son.
my 2 comrades, Heather & Lex.
Catarina, my soul sister.
Shelle, the longest best friend i've ever had -- 19 yrs & counting!
Fish & Lyd, 2 of the cutest girls ever.
the people who became my life savers: Mike, Dallin, Jeff & Sarah.
Clark, the twin.
the only cousin that almost become a potential love interest...Alex.
these crazy kids: Goold, Scotty, Ta'ei & Brian. (where's Burns!)
Jeffe, my little-big bro.
& LAST BUT NEVER LEAST...
the love of my life & apple of my eye, Devon. :)
i'm a lucky girl!
xoxo
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
Update, a Month in the Making
hello! sorry it's been awhile since i updated! i've been feeling especially lazy lately & just haven't had much to update on...but now i do!
-the cupcakes project is still going strong! i'm starting to get a bigger crowd of people who want them! so far i've made a chocolate raspberry, applesauce, red velvet & sugar cookie in the last few weeks. they're all major hits with my loved ones!
i made the sugar cookie cupcakes for 1 of my girlfriend's birthday, & that batter tasted JUST LIKE sugar cookies.
the applesauce cupcakes are definitely the most healthy cupcakes i've made thus far! (you can eat 'em for breakfast!)
for the red velvet i threw in some cinnamon to add a little twist on a classic recipe -- man, they were delicious!
& the choco raspberry was made for my choir class; my teacher basically said i have an A the rest of this semester, because of them.
so all in all, these are all successful! :)
-still speaking of cupcakes, Mam & i bought ourselves a KitchenAid a few weeks ago!!! i am in LOVE! definitely a great investment! i've used it to make cupcakes (obviously) & frosting, & it has saved me at least an hour's worth of work. I LOVE IT! :) definitely recommend everyone get 1 for all kinds of baking & cooking adventures!
-now onto non-cupcake news: 1 of my best friends, Heather, moved in with us about a month ago! it's been fun having her here to hang. :) she works most days from 2-10 so we mostly have Girls' Nights every night, laughing our faces off & watching ridiculous YouTube videos & taking funny quizzes & venting...all whilst speaking in a Russian accent. she is Svetlana, i am Boris. :)
-not sure if i wrote about this, but i have a new(ish) niece! she was born on New Year's Day, & she is GORGEOUS. :) i've got another niece or nephew (we won't know til he/she's born) coming anytime next month or May; it's so fun to be an auntie for the 8th & 9th time! :)
-last but certainly not least, i am dating a hott guy. :) he is cute, funny, sweet, friendly, chill & so good to me. :) we are basically on the same wavelength all the time, & he is such a blessing in my life right now. :) i'm a lucky girl! :)
anyways, there you have it. more to come soon! blueberry mini cupcakes this week...wish me luck!
xoxo
-the cupcakes project is still going strong! i'm starting to get a bigger crowd of people who want them! so far i've made a chocolate raspberry, applesauce, red velvet & sugar cookie in the last few weeks. they're all major hits with my loved ones!
i made the sugar cookie cupcakes for 1 of my girlfriend's birthday, & that batter tasted JUST LIKE sugar cookies.
the applesauce cupcakes are definitely the most healthy cupcakes i've made thus far! (you can eat 'em for breakfast!)
for the red velvet i threw in some cinnamon to add a little twist on a classic recipe -- man, they were delicious!
& the choco raspberry was made for my choir class; my teacher basically said i have an A the rest of this semester, because of them.
so all in all, these are all successful! :)
-still speaking of cupcakes, Mam & i bought ourselves a KitchenAid a few weeks ago!!! i am in LOVE! definitely a great investment! i've used it to make cupcakes (obviously) & frosting, & it has saved me at least an hour's worth of work. I LOVE IT! :) definitely recommend everyone get 1 for all kinds of baking & cooking adventures!
-now onto non-cupcake news: 1 of my best friends, Heather, moved in with us about a month ago! it's been fun having her here to hang. :) she works most days from 2-10 so we mostly have Girls' Nights every night, laughing our faces off & watching ridiculous YouTube videos & taking funny quizzes & venting...all whilst speaking in a Russian accent. she is Svetlana, i am Boris. :)
-not sure if i wrote about this, but i have a new(ish) niece! she was born on New Year's Day, & she is GORGEOUS. :) i've got another niece or nephew (we won't know til he/she's born) coming anytime next month or May; it's so fun to be an auntie for the 8th & 9th time! :)
-last but certainly not least, i am dating a hott guy. :) he is cute, funny, sweet, friendly, chill & so good to me. :) we are basically on the same wavelength all the time, & he is such a blessing in my life right now. :) i'm a lucky girl! :)
anyways, there you have it. more to come soon! blueberry mini cupcakes this week...wish me luck!
xoxo
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Cupcakes Thus Far!
week 1: strawberry
week 2: pink lemonade
week 3: chocolate pretzel
week 4: peach cobbler
week 5: cotton candy
wow this project of mine is coming along very nicely! it's been a lot of fun thus far, & i'm really enjoying tracking down & baking these new recipes.
Strawberry was a great starting flavor -- they turned out absolutely divine.
Pink Lemonade was a nice zippy surprise! to make it extra cute, i stuck straws on top through the cupcake (i saw it on Cupcake Wars once & thought it was awesome).
Chocolate Pretzel was my own little variation; the pretzel in the mix came out soggy, but we fixed the problem by putting crushed pretzels on the icing. yum!
Peach Cobbler was a HUGE hit with my faithful followers! as i'm allergic to peaches i couldn't try them, but man, did i get some new "customers" after those babies!
i just finished making Cotton Candy by scratch, & i'm excited to report that they are delicious. wahoo!
this coming Monday i'll be making the Peach Cobbler again, plus a Raspberry Chocolate cupcake, for my chamber choir class. i offered to do so, since we've got a concert that's going to kick butt this Friday, & i think they're all going to love the flavors!
so after i make the 2 batches for my class, i'll take a break for the rest of the week from baking. but i think the next few flavors i'll do are Cinnamon Applesauce, Cookies & Cream, & Peanut Butter'n'Jelly.
should be fun! i'll keep y'all posted! :)
xoxo
week 2: pink lemonade
week 3: chocolate pretzel
week 4: peach cobbler
week 5: cotton candy
wow this project of mine is coming along very nicely! it's been a lot of fun thus far, & i'm really enjoying tracking down & baking these new recipes.
Strawberry was a great starting flavor -- they turned out absolutely divine.
Pink Lemonade was a nice zippy surprise! to make it extra cute, i stuck straws on top through the cupcake (i saw it on Cupcake Wars once & thought it was awesome).
Chocolate Pretzel was my own little variation; the pretzel in the mix came out soggy, but we fixed the problem by putting crushed pretzels on the icing. yum!
Peach Cobbler was a HUGE hit with my faithful followers! as i'm allergic to peaches i couldn't try them, but man, did i get some new "customers" after those babies!
i just finished making Cotton Candy by scratch, & i'm excited to report that they are delicious. wahoo!
this coming Monday i'll be making the Peach Cobbler again, plus a Raspberry Chocolate cupcake, for my chamber choir class. i offered to do so, since we've got a concert that's going to kick butt this Friday, & i think they're all going to love the flavors!
so after i make the 2 batches for my class, i'll take a break for the rest of the week from baking. but i think the next few flavors i'll do are Cinnamon Applesauce, Cookies & Cream, & Peanut Butter'n'Jelly.
should be fun! i'll keep y'all posted! :)
xoxo
Monday, January 23, 2012
Mission: Cupcakes
fact: cupcakes are awesome. they're getting more recognition nowadays, even becoming the It dessert to have at weddings, red carpet parties, etc. they even have an excellent competition show on TV called "Cupcake Wars", which is a lot of fun to watch.another fact: i LOVE cupcakes. i like to bake -- mostly for my family & friends. i'm not really one to actually EAT my sweets, but man, i sure do love baking for other people.
since my life is pretty uneventful still, i came up with an idea last night: why not look up different fun cupcake recipes & try 'em out, to broaden my cupcake horizon? so that's what i'm gonna do. simple! & i've got 40+ recipes to try out, so i'll be making 1 flavor every week, give a sample to some friends, get their feedback & go on to the next recipe. may sound kind of dumb, but i'm super stoked to do this!
i'll be documenting with pics & recipes every week, & to start off i'm making a strawberry cupcake with strawberry icing. i should be baking the test round on Wednesday, then giving out the sample to some friends the next day.
here's just a few flavors i'm planning to make:
-chocolate chip cookie dough
-pink lemonade
-applesauce
-Boston cream pie
-pretzel
-cotton candy
-German chocolate
i shall keep y'all posted on this! i'm way excited to begin this! wish me luuuuck!
xoxo
Friday, January 6, 2012
2011 in Review
hello & welcome to my new blog! :) as you may know, i did a review of my 2010 year that i thought was a good way for me to remember things that happened. so, in following tradition, here is my review of 2011.
Moment Worth Recognizing: saying "i love you" for the 1st time.
Moment I Wish Never Had Even Happened 'Cause All It Did Was Leave Me Bitter: telling a secret to someone about someone else, & then finding out that person told the person in question about it. (are you confused?)
Most Exhausting & Exhilarating Event This Year: U2. IN CONCERT. heck YES!
Goal(s) Set & Achieved: getting a boyfriend/going to see U2/SanFran.
Goal(s) Set & Not Achieved: no break-ups/no gay friends made.
Best Discovery: Tintin. after i saw the movie i went scavenging the library & internet for the comics. i found 'em, & i've been reading them nonstop since!
Movie of the Year: Warrior. see it, & you'll see why.
Awesome Trend That Rocked The World: Adele. okay so she's not REALLY a trend, but she was everywhere in 2011! her album rocked, she released a live sessions DVD, topped the music charts...& rightly so; she is a great musician.
National Anthem of the Year: tie between Forget You by Cee Lo Green & Good Life by OneRepublic. why? Forget You is tongue-in-cheek, & Good Life is uplifting. good way to describe the year, no?
Most Loved Album: Mylo Xyloto by Coldplay. those guys could make an album dedicated to CHEESE, & it'd still be great.
Album On Most Rotation: Science & Faith by the Script. i love this CD. they've got a nice sound. :)
Movie I Thought Would Totally Stink But Took Me By Surprise At How Much I Enjoyed It: Rise of the Planet of the Apes. it RULED! that Andy Serkis deserves a special Oscar.
Most Watched TV Show: for the 2nd year in a row, House. but i've been watching Sherlock, American Horror Story, Big Bang Theory & New Girl like mad.
Biggest TV Disappointment: X Factor. never got into it. maybe that's my own fault...
Biggest Annoyance: knots, aches & pains in my neck & shoulders. & that's not just a literal translation either. UGH.
Proudest Moment: being called the coolest girl known. 4 people said that to me. aww. :)
Most Fun Time: the 2 times i saw my bestie Alex, Friday night movie "dates" with Liz, girl-time with Lex, Heather living at the house for a week, philosophical conversations with cousin Alex, crazy Smash Bros marathons with Eric & Burns, Murder in the Dark with old high school friends, hanging with Jeff & Dallin & Sarah, & spending time with the fam & grandkids.
Worst Time: March. that was a hard month...for obvious reasons.
What I Wished I'd Done Every Weekend This Year: spent it with Alex. i miss her.
Thing Released This Year That Became An Instant Classic & A Daily Reminder In Life: my Droid. it's a lotta fun!
Moments of Pure Joy: Cherry slowly becoming a lap cat. yaaaaaay :D
Moment Worth Recognizing: saying "i love you" for the 1st time.
Moment I Wish Never Had Even Happened 'Cause All It Did Was Leave Me Bitter: telling a secret to someone about someone else, & then finding out that person told the person in question about it. (are you confused?)
Most Exhausting & Exhilarating Event This Year: U2. IN CONCERT. heck YES!
Goal(s) Set & Achieved: getting a boyfriend/going to see U2/SanFran.
Goal(s) Set & Not Achieved: no break-ups/no gay friends made.
Best Discovery: Tintin. after i saw the movie i went scavenging the library & internet for the comics. i found 'em, & i've been reading them nonstop since!
Movie of the Year: Warrior. see it, & you'll see why.
Awesome Trend That Rocked The World: Adele. okay so she's not REALLY a trend, but she was everywhere in 2011! her album rocked, she released a live sessions DVD, topped the music charts...& rightly so; she is a great musician.
National Anthem of the Year: tie between Forget You by Cee Lo Green & Good Life by OneRepublic. why? Forget You is tongue-in-cheek, & Good Life is uplifting. good way to describe the year, no?
Most Loved Album: Mylo Xyloto by Coldplay. those guys could make an album dedicated to CHEESE, & it'd still be great.
Album On Most Rotation: Science & Faith by the Script. i love this CD. they've got a nice sound. :)
Movie I Thought Would Totally Stink But Took Me By Surprise At How Much I Enjoyed It: Rise of the Planet of the Apes. it RULED! that Andy Serkis deserves a special Oscar.
Most Watched TV Show: for the 2nd year in a row, House. but i've been watching Sherlock, American Horror Story, Big Bang Theory & New Girl like mad.
Biggest TV Disappointment: X Factor. never got into it. maybe that's my own fault...
Biggest Annoyance: knots, aches & pains in my neck & shoulders. & that's not just a literal translation either. UGH.
Proudest Moment: being called the coolest girl known. 4 people said that to me. aww. :)
Most Fun Time: the 2 times i saw my bestie Alex, Friday night movie "dates" with Liz, girl-time with Lex, Heather living at the house for a week, philosophical conversations with cousin Alex, crazy Smash Bros marathons with Eric & Burns, Murder in the Dark with old high school friends, hanging with Jeff & Dallin & Sarah, & spending time with the fam & grandkids.
Worst Time: March. that was a hard month...for obvious reasons.
What I Wished I'd Done Every Weekend This Year: spent it with Alex. i miss her.
Thing Released This Year That Became An Instant Classic & A Daily Reminder In Life: my Droid. it's a lotta fun!
Moments of Pure Joy: Cherry slowly becoming a lap cat. yaaaaaay :D
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